About Me...

I have been drawing, painting and creating ever since I can remember.

I just have to. There is no question, it is much like taking a breath.

I can not explain it in any other way: I paint, therefore I am.

In recent years, I’ve come to understand that I paint in order to solve a puzzle or a mystery.

I paint to discover a secret code which needs to be cracked in order to better understand  myself,

the mysteries of life, the soul, God and even the mysteries I don’t yet know exist.

I begin a painting with a cup of tea in one hand and a paint brush in the other.

I use the colors and textures I am drawn to in the moment, creating a background.

After a while an image or idea begins to form on the background

and I draw or paint it out, giving it life. The first image that appears

becomes the key to a door that unlocks what the entire painting will be about.

I go inside myself (much like the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland)

and a kind of story or dialog with the image begins. We play.

We talk to each other. I begin to feel the emotion in the character or image.

Many times I do not know much about the image that I need to paint,

so I do research in books and on the internet to find out more about it.

I want to know so much about it that, much like an actor in a play, I become it.

It never seems to fail me that in the research process I discover many new things.

I learn not only about what I started researching, but  also about something entirely new.

That new idea might then take me to a second, third, forth, etc. painting and a series is born.

Drawing and painting - my school.

I could go on and on about my specific reasons for why I paint people the way I do,

my use of imagery such as crowns and teacups, wheels, bowls, bees, foxes and whales .....

and why I use bits of gold and bits of my great grandmother’s passport from Lithuania in

almost every painting. Really what I wish for the person looking at my paintings

is to make up stories and reasons for themselves and in that process

discover a secret key within themselves that unlocks a mysterious door .....

Pamela Zagarenski